Sharing Your Thoughts and Feelings Can Feel Very DauntingPublished Monday, 12th October 2020
“Reach out” they say. “Contact a Counsellor, a Helpline, your GP”. “It’s good to talk” but what if that is far easier said than done for you. What if you are not used to talking about your inner most thoughts and feelings? What if, instead of being the most natural thing to do, it feels completely unnatural and throws you even further out of your comfort zone? What if you believe it is a sign of weakness to need or ask for help? Were you conditioned to “Be Strong” or are you normally the “Go to Person?” It may feel very uncomfortable to ask for help.
You may say to yourself, “Things aren’t that bad.” So how bad do things need to get before you might give yourself permission to ask for help? What does it mean to you to need help?
We are all unique individuals with differing life experiences. Experiences and upbringings, that may or may not make it easier to recognise when we may need to talk to a counsellor, or allow ourselves to get in touch with one.
There is often an internal conversation that goes on before even beginning to search for a counsellor. "What am I going to say? Where will I begin? Will I be forced to talk about things I don’t want to? What will my family and friends think? I’m not used to talking about my feelings. Will I feel any better? I’m very private with my emotions." So many obstacles to overcome before even making your first enquiry.
It is normal to feel nervous and anxious when starting counselling, especially if it’s for the first time. It can be daunting to share your thoughts and feelings with a stranger. Yes, they are a trained professional, who hopefully will put you at your ease quite quickly but it may be your first step into unknown territory, away from your comfort zone. You may be breaking a mould – made by you or perhaps by others or society for you. Be kind and patient with yourself. Your counsellor will support you, as you as you step into this new territory.
Like taking your first steps, wobbly and unbalanced at first, fearing falling. It took courage, perserverance, patience with yourself and more than likely encouragement from another but once you got the hang of it, you forgot the fear, gained your balance, discovered a new way of being in the world and found your stride.
Each step, wobbly or steady, takes you to closer to that stride.
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